Understand the Process of Therapy

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Starting therapy can be very intimidating. Most people come to therapy during times when their emotions are raw or they’re experiencing a personal crisis. Not knowing what to expect once you’re behind that closed door can compound all the stress, fear and anxiety that you’re already feeling.

For this reason, it is always my main goal to educate my clients about what to expect and guide them through the process of therapy. In my practice, I have identified 5 “phases,” if you will, of the therapy process.

Developing Trust & Building a Relationship

Trust is the key to a successful therapeutic relationship. Trust is developed over time through the smallest of actions through to the larger therapy techniques. Without trust, my clients simply won’t be able to move forward in the process; therefore, developing and maintaining the trust of my clients is a top priority from the first interaction to the very last session, and beyond. Developing trust and building a relationship is a “phase” that never truly ends. If nothing else, I believe it is my number one duty to create an environment of trust, no matter how long it takes.

Exploring Your Main Concern

In the first session, I have my clients describe what brought them into therapy.

While several of my clients may be struggling with the same issue, their stories, experiences, challenges, motivations and goals, may all look very different. In order to reach their desired outcome, it is critical that we spend time exploring their concerns in detail until we’re both confident that we are on the same page.

Exploring the Root Causes

Our behaviour, thoughts, choices, and actions have an underlying connection to our past experiences and by thoroughly investigating these connections, bringing them into our awareness, we are better able to change undesirable behaviours, thoughts, and patterns. For that reason, it is my approach to therapy to spend time exploring past experiences that relate to the main concern.

As with all the stages in this process, I trust that my clients have the answers to their own questions. We explore what stands out or is significant to them about their past experiences. What comes to light is what I call “parallel experiences,” or experiences that mimic or are similar to those that they are currently experiencing. Or patterns of emotion—re-experiencing of the same emotion repeatedly throughout one’s life (for example, feeling rejected or betrayed). These are “clues” that help us to discover the root causes of the issue currently plaguing my client.

It is also important to note that this is usually the part where “things get worse before they get better.” Exploring the past can bring up difficult or painful emotions. Again, I trust my clients and listen to what they are telling me about what they can handle while providing the encouragement they need that this experience is a natural part of the process of healing.

Challenging Old Patterns

Once we have discovered the root causes and thoroughly explored the connections between past and present, then we begin to challenge those patterns through what I like to call a “corrective experience,” an experience that mimics past experiences but has an alternate outcome.

This stage must be completed thoughtfully and with due caution, gradually working toward “higher risk” experiences so as not to reinforce the existing patterns. For some clients, simply expressing their feelings and concerns in therapy can be a corrective experience. For others it may mean gradually sharing their true feelings and self with the significant people in their life. For others still, it may mean deciding that they don’t need or want to share their feelings or self with others.

Whatever the case, this stage of the process is 100% initiated by my client with my guidance and support, and naturally comes to an end when my client has learned to trust themselves, their inner voice, and their decisions.

Saying Goodbye

By this stage, my clients and I have developed a strong bond. I have walked with them on their journey through some ups and downs and we have shared moments of insight and awe that are difficult to put into words. They are not the same person who first came into therapy. They are more themselves than they have ever been.

Needless to say, saying goodbye is difficult for both of us. Yet, it is the next vital stage in the therapy process. My clients in this stage are now able to recognize the changes they have made and are optimistic about what’s next for them, but naturally, question whether they will be able to maintain these positive changes without therapy. There is only one way to find out. And so, spreading their wings and going out on their own becomes the next challenge.

Through experience, I have come to see that my clients will carry the therapy experience with them and, while they previously may have heard my voice in their head giving them words of encouragement, my voice will gradually be replaced with their own inner voice as they begin to trust in their own ability to guide themselves through all of life’s challenges.

For some of my clients, this is the end of our journey together. For others, they may encounter new or unexpected challenges and return to therapy. It's my philosophy that your therapist should be an ongoing support you can return to for a brief refresher or to work toward new goals. Wherever they are at, it's my goal to support my clients at all stages of their journey.

Lastly, each of these phases has therapeutic value and not all clients need or want to progress through each phase. If you have questions about what the therapy process may look like for you specifically, send me a message or consider scheduling a consultation so we can discuss your specific needs and questions in more detail.